Comets

 

What if I'm not what you wanted?

You worked so hard and now I'm broke

What if I'm not what you dreamed of?

Lying alone, shattered from one stroke

 

What if I'm not who you thought of?

An illusion that's burning the book

What if I'm not who you fought for?

Huddled alone, battered when I'm shook

 

What if I'm not where you left me?

I won't always answer your call

What if I'm not on the wavelength?

You cannot keep watch on them all

 

What if I'm not what you wanted?

I won't always answer your call

What if I'm not what you wanted?

Comets eternally fall

 

Standoff

 

 

The rainy sky drizzles

The duelers lock eyes

The stagnant air sizzles

But no one's surprised

 

The protesters come,

Too little, too late

A standoff, once started

Is left up to fate

 

The kings once were friends

But now don't look twice

They'll march towards their ends

Not knowing the price

 

With cunning and instinct

Both possess the wile

Each knows well the precinct

Of one loaded smile

 

And now comes the contest

One-upping regimes

Set their scientists to work

On killing machines

 

The cause is forgotten

It still fuels their hate

The end comes, but when?

Until then, each waits

 

Needlepoint

 

You were always my personal joint

Each day I needed my fix

And prodded by your needlepoint

I showed off all my tricks

 

A fabrication of pure desire

I longed just for your taste

Ignored your jibes and smirks and ire

Oh what, oh what a waste

 

You took two years of mine with yours

Your poise, your style and grace

You charmed me once, but once, no more

Can't bear the sight of your face

 

And now you're back, with smarmy snide

What makes you think you're wanted?

By your laws I couldn't abide

And by your smile I was haunted

 

You're out, good-bye, I want you gone

So step out of my life

I'm stepping up, I'm not your pawn

Not your pawn? Yeah, right.

 

Beneath You

 

The screen door slams

And I can't breathe.

Close my eyes against the sound.

Set up walls-- polished glass.

And you start throwing stones,

Swinging words like baseball bats.

I'm scared of the truth in your lies.

When it's over,

It's never over.

Too afraid to remember,

Too broken to forget.

Beneath you,

I am wallpaper.

Beneath you,

I'm a mime.

I wish I could say

That I am not worthless.

But I am not anyone

When I'm beneath you.

 

Aftermath

 

In the aftermath, it was easy

To pretend that I wasn't afraid.

To wake up each morning and act like nothing had changed.

That the world hadn't turned upside down in my absence

And that I hadn't returned to find my life a skewed mirror image of what it was before.

 

In the aftermath, it was easy

To ward off the questioning stares

Of my friends, family

All trying to figure out where I'd gone.

To fixate on a crack in the ceiling

That spiderwebs and splinters as I block everything out.

Splintering

Into crystalline sunshine,

A broken bottle top, and the flash of car keys in the air.

 

In the aftermath, it was easy

To stare at a cloud from my window

And still look like I was paying attention.

To put on my listening face

And make all the right nodding sounds.

So no one will know how far away I am.

How far away I fly. Drifting.

 

In the aftermath, it was easy

To drift.

To let myself linger at turnarounds and street signs,

Always looking for the turnoff that will lead back to my life

As it was. Instead I'm taken back to a morning

That strikes off dusty windshields and crackles in the heated air.

Back to a time when the word invincible screeched in the treads of my tires

And no cage could hold me beyond the roof of my car.

 

In the aftermath, it was easy

To put up a facade of okays and all rights

That showed others a trick that I knew wasn't true.

Because when I'd braked, I'd broken

And made fragile what I'd thought was strong

And now nothing could mend what was torn up inside.

 

In the aftermath, it was easy.

Except that it wasn't.

Except that I'll never forget what it felt like when

My life spun off axis, screaming into space.

A galaxy degraded into shattered glass, broken windows,

And me. Sitting glassy-eyed in the aftermath.