Oh my god. I'm reviewing this on my phone too, feel special. Feel special :P I have to say I really adored this! Although I want to point put that riding is not spelled with two D's. Also there was a sentence right after the climax of this chapter that seemed a bit odd. "Sigh that she was nervous." should be "A sign that she was nervous." or something similar.

 

I loved the repetitive use of words in this! It added a nice effect and added to the uh... Excitement factor? :P it was brilliant. 

Wonderful job and I'm definitely reviewing chapter two later xD

 

-Mike

Author's Response:

Oups >.< I thought I'd gotten rid of all the typos. Seems as though I heven't xD I'll look it over and edit!^^

YAY! I'll have two reviews!! xD Thanks!! :'D I'm really glad you liked it!^^^

xx

~Lunar (Note that I only sign as "Lunar" when responding to you xD I think you should sign as Santa when you're replying to me, in all fairness lol :P)